Every day I wake up to my routine....meditate, make the bed, brew a cup of green tea, journal, work on emails. As I navigate what's new and what I need to do to accomplish my tasks of the day, I can become overwhelmed by the myriad of choices to assimilate. Life has given me a fairly consistent stream of creative accomplishments...actress, advertising executive, Neiman Marcus runway model, fashion show producer, documentary short writer/producer, master stylist. It's not just that I've done a lot, I am also in the second half of life so I've had time to acquire a few creative skills. Oh, I almost forgot being a mother of two amazing men and once married for 28 years as part of my resume. One of those accomplishments is over but being a mother is something that will be with me until I die. Our culture, and I include myself in this mix, often doesn't remember that creating human life is a financially valuable commodity.
I am happy to say that now that I love being a mother but my earliest grasp of it, that being when I was traveling with Neiman Marcus as runway model, was a serious shock to my identity. I always wanted to have children. I just didn't expect that particular dream to make itself known when I was happily dependent on my body's fine line appearance as my business. And yet, there I sat, staring at a positive pregnancy test telling me new life was coming and at the same time reeling from the dawning reality that part of me had died. The me that had lived my entire life as, well...me.
Now I can clearly see that my greatest accomplishments were produced inside of me, hidden away from any eyes to see or ears to hear. As my body held and built a complex structure of human life, I was cast in the role of a creative director with no control. In one of the most the most epically creative passages of human life, I felt like I was doing nothing. Doing nothing, apparently, creates miracles.
So when I'm navigating the constantly changing terrain of my daily life and I feel overwhelmed by the myriad of choices that might help me prove to myself that I am accomplished and in control, I remember, "Don't just do something. Sit there. There is a miracle being created" . Being a creative director of life with no control has gotten easier.